First Day

I have so many thoughts right now, since Lincoln's bus drove away. It really seems surreal to me that he's off on his own little adventure right now. One that I don't get to be a part of. I thought I would right down a few things about Lincoln, I just feel like it.

He is an amazing kid, always trying to make people laugh, sometimes at the annoyance of us all. The house is definitely going to be quieter in the mornings. He's such a kind and thoughtful person, the first to offer hugs and cards whenever anyone in the family is hurt or sad. He's a great big brother, he really looks out for Oliver and I'm so proud of him for being such.

I love his determination, his tender heart, and his efforts to make good choices. I love that his favorite bands right now are The Avett Brothers and The Beatles , and that anytime we get in the car he asks his dad if he brought his ipod so he can sing his favorite songs at the top of his lungs. There truly is nothing that makes me smile more than hearing my 5 year old sing, "All my loving I will send to you, all my loving darling I'll be true," or "Hold me, love me, Hold me, love me. I ain't got nothing but love babe, eight days a week." or " strawberry fields forever". It really is hilarious and always puts a smile on my face. His energy level is always on high, he's like an energizer bunny. His energy keeps us on our toes and helps us to get out and enjoy life.

I'm so excited to see what the future holds for this amazing kid, and feel so lucky that he was sent to our family and that I have the chance to be his mom.

Today was tough, but we did it. Josh gave him a Father's blessing, we had out morning prayer and song and then we sent him off. So I guess now I just hope all the things most parents hope, that whatever we've done and said, to help him be a good person sticks, and that it's enough.

I hope he remembers who he is if some one's being mean or wants him to do something he knows he shouldn't. I hope he knows, because we tell him like a million times a day, how loved he is, and that he remembers that when things get hard. Letting go is hard, I've always been

right there and now I'm not. I'm positive that this transition is way harder for me, than it is for him, but I also know that it's just the first.

Maybe that's what makes this whole thing all the more bitter sweet for me. I know that this is just the tip of the ice burg. From here on out, he'll just keep growing more, and moving closer to his independence from me. I'm so grateful that it will happen gradually, that's a blessing for someone like me. Someone who's heart strings are wound up so tightly around her kids. I love knowing we are a forever family, and no matter how far apart his life will take him from me, I take comfort in knowing we have eternity.

And so now that anyone reading this feels like they are reading a cheesy obituary, I apologize for my tearful, emotionally laden ramblings, I'm done now.

Lincoln I miss you already!